40k The Sitcom
by Dreamsofiron
Summary: greatest love story never told
1. Chapter 1

40k The Sitcom

Somewhere in the depths of Warp...

Khorne, Tzeentch and Nurgle sit table.

Slaanesh enters...

"HAHAHAHAHA" Audience says.

"I had a long night" Slaanesh says.

"HAHAHAHAHA" Audience says.

"I kill you with my sword!" Khorne says.

"HAHAHAHAHA" Audience says.

"Guis be reasonable" Tzeentch says.

"HAHAHAHAHA" Audience says.

"I love all creatures in the universe and beyond" Nurgle says.

"HAHAHAHAHA" Audience says.

"You are an idiot Nurgle" Tzeentch says.

"HAHAHAHAHA" Audience says.

"Don't insult my friend, I will kill you for that" Khorne says.

"HAHAHAHAHA" Audience says.

"I'm protected by magic" Tzeentch says.

"HAHAHAHAHA" Audience says.

"Curses!" Khorne says.

"HAHAHAHAHA" Audience says.

Suddenly out of nowhere his Imperial Majesy Holy Emperor ov Mankind walks in...

"HAHAHAHAHA" Audience says.

"I came to marry Slaanesh cause we are in luv!" Emperor says.

"HAHAHAHAHA" Audience says.

"Is that true" Tzeentch says.

"HAHAHAHAHA" Audience says.

"Y... y... es, it's k... k... kinda true... " Slaanesh says with shy voice.

"HAHAHAHAHA" Audience says.

"You vile traitor, I will kill you for this" Khorne says.

"HAHAHAHAHA" Audience says.

"You never kill anyone, you are just wannabee tough guy" Tzeentch says.

"HAHAHAHAHA" Audience says.

"I will kill you for this" Khorne says.

"HAHAHAHAHA" Audience says.

Nothing happens...

"See!" Tzeentch says.

"HAHAHAHAHA" Audience says.

"I will perform Imperial Rap to seduce Slaanesh!" Emperor says.

"HAHAHAHAHA" Audience says.

Imperial RAP begins:

"I am human and proud of eet  
I will not take this xeno shit  
I am human and proud of it  
I wull not take this daemon shit

No water, no food suplis  
living in the Imperial paradise

And I been purging and cleansing  
for so long even Emperor thinks  
my mind is gone!

Cant stand the mons of life  
living in the Imperial paradise  
Cant stand the mons of life  
living in the Imperial paradise  
purgin xenos once and twice  
living in the Imperial paradise

Purge the xenos coming straight from the underground  
A young human got it bad cause I'm Imperial

No water, no food suplis  
living in the Imperial paradise

And I been purging and cleansing  
for so long even Emperor thinks  
my mind is gone!

Cant stand the mons of life  
living in the Imperial paradise  
Cant stand the mons of life  
living in the Imperial paradise  
purgin xenos once and twice  
living in the Imperial paradise

Cant stand the mons of life  
living in the Imperial paradise  
Cant stand the mons of life  
living in the Imperial paradise  
purgin xenos once and twice  
living in the Imperial paradise

Purge the xenos coming straight from the underground  
A young human got it bad cause I'm Imperial

Cant stand the mons of life  
living in the Imperial paradise  
Cant stand the mons of life  
living in the Imperial paradise  
purgin xenos once and twice  
living in the Imperial paradise

Cant stand the mons of life  
living in the Imperial paradise  
Cant stand the mons of life  
living in the Imperial paradise  
purgin xenos once and twice  
living in the Imperial paradise" Emperor says.

"HAHAHAHAHA" Audience says.

"That was impressive" Nurgle says.

"HAHAHAHAHA" Audience says.

"Thanks you filthy warpspawn" Emperor says.

"HAHAHAHAHA" Audience says.

"You are too kind" Nurgle says.

"HAHAHAHAHA" Audience says.

Then Emperor suddenly realizes he wants to marry Nurgle instead.

"Will you marry me, Nurgle" Emperor says, with stars in his eyes.

"HAHAHAHAHA" Audience says.

"Of course dawg!" Nurgle says full of love.

"HAHAHAHAHA" Audience says.

Than they live...

Slaanesh starts crying.

"HAHAHAHAHA" Audience says.

"Sometimes I want to kill myself" Tzeentch says.

"HAHAHAHAHA" Audience says.

"I know how you feel"

"HAHAHAHAHA" Audience says.

THE END

"HAHAHAHAHA" Audience says.


	2. Chapter 2

Emperor and Nurgle prepare for wedding.

"This will be my big day, I'm so happy!" Nurgle says, like wise man of light.

"Yes my love, we are like stars in heavens!" Emperor says, like titan from ancient times.

"My body is pulsating with passion and joy." Nurgle says like celestial lion in halls of time.

"We are like birds in the sky, free and untamed!" Emperor answers bright like the star.

Suddenly Slaanesh appears...

"What do you want, can't you see that we are happy together as one!" Nurgle says like princess of the dragons.

"You abandoned me! YOU RUINED MY LIFE! Screams Slaanesh in internal agony.

"Calm down, we can talk about this." Emperor says like whispers of the everlasting night.

"Calm down? CALM DOWN?! MY LIFE, MY PRIDE IS RUINED!" Slaanesh says like wounded eagle.

"You mad bro?" Nurgle asks like father of time and space.

"Crawling in my skiiiin!" Slanesh says as he pulls a rocket launcher like knight of forgotten dream.

"WOWOWOW dude calm down bro!" Emperor says like midnight symphony.

"I KEEL YOU!" Slaanesh says like destroyer of worlds.

Slaanesh shoots Nurgle, but Nurgle survives thanks to protective lard, like the dust in the wind.

"Aarrgggh, I'm going home to cry!" Slaanesh says like cowardly lion.

"What a loser!" Emperor says like midsummer dream.

"Yeah, but I still feel sorry for him!" Nurgle says like the lighting of the eye of the storm!

"Maybe we should get him some present or something." Emperor says like esoteric revelation.

"You are right lets get him a new disease! Nurgle says like soldier trapped in ocean of time.

"Maybe something else..." Emperor says like early dream of mankind.

"Like what?" Nurgle says like beautiful butterfly.

"Like a new galaxy destroying super laser." Emperor says like the thief in the night.

"Yeah that's right!" Nurgle says like the sun and the moon and the end of all time.

So they get him the stupid laser.

"We have a present for you!" Emperor says to Slaanesh whimsicoricaly.

"What is it." Slaanesh says with bleak gloomy depresion.

"It's a brand new galaxy destroying laser!" Nurgle says with joy of the light.

"Is it now?" Slaanesh says with dark intentions.

And then out of nowhere Slaanesh presses the button on the laser and blows up the galaxy.

Oops... See you next time!


End file.
